Wanting You
by CaskettMyHeart
Summary: "Kate woke up. She turned around to 'his' part of the bed. Only… it wasn't his part of the bed anymore. She had broken up with him, and now she realized she wasn't even sad about it." Because she broke up with him over Rick. And now, after 3 months she was ready for wanting him. AU from the season 3 finally...
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1. Prologue/ Chapter 1**

**Hi everyone! I just started on this new idea for a story. But I think it's a One Shot… idk. Maybe I'll continue… You tell me.**

Kate woke up. She turned around to 'his' part of the bed. Only… it wasn't his part of the bed anymore. She had broken up with him, and now she realized she wasn't even sad about it. She smiled to herself, got in the shower and got dressed. She took her coat and grabbed her phone and her keys and ran you the door. She was going to get herself some breakfast at her and Castle's usual spot. After everything that happened, she still loved the coffee and it didn't feel weird coming here without him. At first, she found herself giving not only her order, but also his. But she always realized it too late and drank it herself.

But all of this sadness was going to change today. Today was the day she was going to call him. She was going to call him after 3 months of silence to each other after that dreadful day. She wanted him back into her life, she needed him back into her life. Not as her lover. No, as her friend. Maybe later she would give it a shot, but for now, just friends would be nice.

She found herself picking up the phone a million times before finally hitting the call button. She was sitting in central park and she had walked around for a long time now deciding what to do. She listened to the tone as she sat on the swings imagining him next to her. She listened as the call went to voicemail… _What?_ So she tried again. Nothing… again! And she tried again… but still nothing. This time she decided to leave a message.

"Castle… eumh, it's me… Kate. I- I wanted to talk to you. I know I need to explain a lot. I wanted to meet you… I don't want to have this conversation over the phone seeing how we- I mean _I_ left you hanging. I'm sorry. But if- if it's not a good time, I guess I can wait a few hours. Talk to you later?" And then she hung up staring at the screen of her phone. He'd never let her go to voicemail. But she would wait a few hours. That was the least she could do, seeing that she left him waiting for a phone call for 3 months.

Last time she wasn't ready to face him, and his confection. But this time she wasn't in the hospital. This time she didn't have a boyfriend anymore. This time she broke up with him, Josh, because of Castle. This time she knew what she wanted. And what she wanted was him. She wanted Rick Castle. And she wanted him now more than ever.

**So should I continue or… I know it's short but if I continue with it, chapters will be about 1500 to 2000 or more words long.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2.**

**If you're reading my other story: Because She Was Different. You should get an update in about an hour. I'm sorry but I wrote more of this story while I was away, and it takes a while to type it all in. And I promised myself to write more but I really got stuck and I hate typing over from my notebook… but here is the second chapter. I hope you like it, and don't get to heartbroken.**

**-xxx-**

Rick sat on his couch in his office with a glass of scotch in his hand when his phone started to ring. He took his time reaching for it, it wasn't like he expected her to call after 3 months. But this time it was her, so he was kind of surprised when her name and picture flashed on the screen. He was past the stage of being excited about it, he was past that stage 2 months ago… and he had been in a stage of thinking she fell of the face of the earth, and another where he thought she didn't want him around anymore. He'd been in a lot of stages and now he was in the stage where he really didn't care anymore. So he let his phone ring and go to voicemail. _"Castle… eumh, it's me… Kate. I- I wanted to talk to you. I know I need to explain a lot. I wanted to meet you… I don't want to have this conversation over the phone seeing how we- I mean I left you hanging. I'm sorry. But if- if it's not a good time, I guess I can wait a few hours. Talk to you later?"_ her voice made him angry but sad and lonely at the same time. He felt lonely because he laid his feelings out on the table and she forgot, or remembered… he wasn't sure if she lied about that since she lied about calling him. He stopped believing in her and now, after 3 months, she calls him. When he gave up hope.

But another part of him wanted her back more than ever because since that night, he felt miserable. Miserable because without her, he wanted to go back to the One Night Stand playboy that didn't get attached but somehow, when he kissed a blonde bimbo in a bar, he was thinking about the feel of her lips on his. The taste of her lipstick in his mouth and the sweet smell of cherries. And that heartache he got… it had hurt too much. He felt like he was betraying her. Cheating on her. So he never did it again and turned to alcohol instead, very much knowing how bad it got with Jim Beckett, losing a loved one, the only change was, she wasn't dead. Yet.

He played the voicemail message once again when he calmed down a bit more. But the anger took over again and he turned his phone off so she couldn't call again. But it wasn't a call that he heard, it was a knock on his door. He stood up from his office couch with the now almost empty glass of scotch in his hand, not caring if the person behind the door saw. He didn't bother looking through the peephole but the second he opened the door, he wished he did.

There she was, looking beautiful but soaking wet from the rain, as ever standing on his doorstep with an apologetic small smile "Rick – I –" she started but stopped she looked like a battle was going on in her head because she tried again. "Hi." Her voice cracked on that little word. Rick was frozen in place, he didn't know what to do or say. "Rick? Just… say something." She had this concerned look on his face but he wouldn't know because he refused to look at her. Then she saw the scotch glass. She tried to lay eye contact but failed. Rick closed his eyes and frowned for the fraction of a second before he said "Don't." with his hands moving like he was trying to stop her, pushing her away. and the next thing he knew, he slammed the door in her face. He drank the last of his glass and threw the glass at the door, smashing it, and definitely shocking her more then she already was. God, he was so mad at her, he felt like breaking through the door and squeezing her heart and hurt it as much as she did with his. But she doesn't remember. That's the problem. She doesn't remember so she doesn't have any idea why staying away for 3 months has hurt him this bad. Or at least she says she doesn't remember… He decides it's better just to drink a glass more and then go to sleep. But first he has to clean up the mess he just made. But when he's brushing the pieces of glass away, he can't help but wonder if she's still outside his door. Which she is. She's leaning against the wall, eyes closed. He can see, even through the peephole, that she's trying not to cry. It makes his heart melt and makes him angry at the same time.

She opens her eyes, determent and straightens up "Rick I know you can hear me. I'm sorry. I just hope we can talk… I need to say something, and I'd rather do it face to face." she said to him, not knowing that he could see her every move. And her voice… it wasn't her voice. It wasn't how he remembered her voice, strong, bossy but still playful Beckett. But this wasn't her. This was Kate, emotional, broken Kate. "I'll be here waiting for you to be ready, just like you waited for me" she said more determent but voice still raspy. Every nerve in his body told him not to give her an answer and just let her wait out there for 3 years, but he just couldn't. He knew how much that hurt. But he also knew how much it hurt to be pushed away directly. So he went with that. He took a deep breath in and pulled the door open with an absolute poker face. "Rick," she stared hopeful and reached for him but pulled back at the sight of his steel, mad look. "Go home Beckett. There's nothing for you to do here." He said on a monotone voice which surprised her for sure. She looked at him with disbelieve and hurt.

She felt her heart break and every little sparkle of hope was lost. "What? Rick? I want, no I need to talk to you!" she pleaded. "Please Rick!" she asked as he took a step back and she followed forward only to get the door slammed in her face once more. She rested her forehead again it and closed her eyes. She couldn't and wouldn't hold her tears. Why wouldn't he just listen to what she had to say? And after, yes after he could judge but he needed to listen to her first.

"Rick. Just listen to me please." There was no answer, not that she expected there to be one, but she knew he was there. "I – I needed time" she stared hoping he would listen, "more than I thought I did" she was battling with herself deciding if she would tell him she remembered or not. Maybe he would get around and see the reason why she left for so long. Or maybe he would get even more mad… she decided it was bad enough as it is and she was going to wait for him like she had planned in her head before he opened the door. "I'll wait for you outside" she said as she slid down the wall sitting herself down.

Her words made him melt once again. She was going to wait for him, but how long? As long as he waited for her? She wouldn't be able to do that, especially not like this, soaking wet, and hungry. She would have to eat, and change… so she'd leave eventually and everything would got back to how it was just an hour ago. He shuffled back to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle of wine he had been saving for the moment she would call. And somehow after 3 months, it was still standing there. He hadn't given up hope until now, because now he was the one making the choice to ignore her.

He opened the bottle and took a large amount of fluid in his mouth and swallowed. He would regret this in the morning but she wouldn't be outside his door anymore so he would be happy (well, not that happy, but normal again) and he wouldn't have to worry about problems. But there was her voice again "Rick… please." and if he heard correctly there was a moan followed by a sob. He couldn't listen to this anymore and moved out of the kitchen and into his bedroom hoping he could get away from the sound of her voice.

She heard a door close inside the loft and expected that to be his bedroom door giving her a message. _I don't care._ But she would stay and wait for him. Always, she thought before she felt her eyes close.

**-x-**

**I'm not so sure about this chapter of how it's written, but I'm sick, again, I still have glandular fever which gets me down a little. Homework… I hope I'll get some reviews to cheer me up. And I hope I'll be able to update next week.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3. Broken**

**For the guest (if that person is still reading) who reviewed, no I won't be the one who will break them up forever. My heart can't handle that! The second I want to thank, who really warmed my heart: Caskettfandom (guest) who gave me the best review that I think I ever got. Thanks for the get well wishes. ;)**

**-x-**

"Kate?" she heard a voice say her name as she startled awake remembering what had happened last night. She was still in his hallway, waiting for him to come out. "Kate? what are you doing here?" she heard the voice again as she looked up to see the older redhead standing in front of her.

Kate straightened up the second she saw her and stood up. "I…" she started but didn't really know what to say. Martha checked her out and noticed her clothes had been wet. _From last night's storm? Has she really been here since then?_ Martha thought. "Come on darling, let's get you into some warm clothes and maybe a coffee and we can talk."

"No- I mean, I'd like that but I don't think Rick wants me to come in. He left me here last night, not opening the door to talk to me, to let me explain." Kate said, wanting to go inside, but not wanting to invade.

"Oh Kate, Richard send me a message saying that I should tell you to go home if I stopped by the loft and if you were still here. I had no idea what was going on so I came to check, but darling… he left about 3 hours ago." Seeing Kate's confused face Martha explained herself. "He went to the Hamptons darling." She sighed.

Kate couldn't believe it. She woke up from Martha but not from him? She hated herself so much right now.

Martha saw Kate's face and felt sorry for her. "Come in Kate. Talk to me." She said as she unlocked the door and lead Kate inside.

Kate didn't know what to do, how to act… but Martha made her feel a little more conferrable. "Kate, what were you doing here?" Martha started, she still had no idea why Kate had been sleeping in the hallway.

"I came here to explain myself, why I didn't call him. And he wouldn't open the door. And when he finally did he sent me away. but I was going to wait for him, like he did for me." She rested her head In her hands. "I messed up."

"Oh Kate… I can't deny you didn't hurt him with staying away for 3 months, but I can say you don't deserve to be treated this way. But you can't give up." Kate looked back up at the redhead.

"What do you mean?"

"I know he told you he loved you, and that you remember by the looks of it, and I also know you love him to." Martha said as she stepped behind Kate. "Go to the Hamptons, go after him. I'll talk to him, I won't say him you're coming, but I'll make him calm down so that when you show up, you can surprise him."

"Yeah, that's actually a good idea. You know what, if I leave now, I'll be able to be there tonight." She straightened up and hugged Martha back. "Thank you Martha." She smiled and left the loft, still in her slightly wet clothes. She was going to the Hamptons, for Rick. If that didn't work, she didn't know what would.

She showered, thinking her plan over, dressed up, she wanted to look nice for the surprise and packed a bag. When she had everything she needed, she took her car keys, phone, and bag and locked her door, hoping she wouldn't see her apartment for at least a few days, then everything would work out well.

She was driving for hours now, and she finally reached the Hamptons. She still had the address saved in her phone from a little over a year ago, when he send it to her to convince her to come. He'd also send her a picture of what the front of his house looked like. She could use that now to find his house, and she quickly spotted it. She parked her car a few feet back so that he wouldn't see her car. that would totally ruin the surprise!

She got out of her car after giving herself some advice like, _You can do this, he's going to love it. Just do it already_…she was ready! She looked down at her dress, made sure it was okay and checked her make up in the mirror, she'd never been this nervous to talk to a guy before, but this wasn't just a guy she liked, no this was Castle. The man she loves! She leaves her bag in the car, she can come and get that later, she just needs to talk to him first. So she starts to walk towards the house, hoping that he would listen this time. He actually wouldn't have to listen, he would have to open the door, that's all.

She didn't want to ring the doorbell, maybe that would spook him… so she tried if the door was maybe unlocked… which it was. But she felt weird about this… sneaking into his house? For the second time today? Yes, it was another house, but still… she heard someone's voice, a groan… maybe he was hurt! Yeah… maybe he needed her help! She looked through the glass next to the door and felt her heart break.

There he was, his hands on a blond bimbo that was shoved up against the wall. He was kissing her! He was kissing that blond bimbo. Her mouth opened and she took shallow breaths. This couldn't be happening! She just felt her heart clench and let out a sob. She turned her back to the wall next to the door and slid it down just like she had the night before in the hallway of his apartment building. she closed her eyes and just didn't want to hold back the tears. How could he do this to her? He told her he loved her! Or was that just because she was shot, bleeding to death in his arms? She had made herself up for him, only to find him kissing another blond bimbo… damn what was she wrong about him. She heard his voice again. And _hers _to. "Rick." Was the only thing that left the blond lips, but his voice was a groan and then… oh no. she couldn't believe this! He was making out with a blond bimbo and he said her name. He said "Kate!"

Was he still in love with her? No…. He was making out with another person, he wouldn't do that if he still loved her! Kate got up when she heard the blonds voice again. "What the hell? Who's this Kate!" she heard heels on the floor coming towards her. She didn't have the time to hide and the front door flew open. Kate heard his voice again "Jacinda wait!" and his footsteps but when Jacinda, the blond bimbo apparently left, without even noticing Kate, he stopped in his tracks.

Kate had no other choice, she couldn't run. She came here for him, and he's watching her, she can't just run. So she turns to look at him, his mouth agape as he stares at her.

"Kate?" is the first word that leaves his lips after a few seconds. "What are you doing here? How long have you been there?" by the looks of it, he'd say long enough because he can see that she's been crying. Her mascara ruined…

"I came here for you, to talk to you, explain. But it seems like you don't need me to explain. It seems like you're doing just fine." Her plan is completely thrown overboard. How can she just walk over to him and kiss him now? His clothes all messy from the blond bimbo.

"Yeah, I had to make myself fine because when you didn't call me for 3 months, even just to say you were okay, I felt like you did die. You know I watched you die? I _saw_ and _heard_ you die! You weren't the only one who was having a hard time Kate!"

"So you go and screw with more blonde bimbo's?" she yelled, she was angry now! She felt like running away from the pain he caused, but also screaming from anger, and the anger won. "I thought you loved me!" and as soon as she said the words, she realized wh7at she did.

"And I thought you didn't remember." His look stern, but she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"I do remember." She almost whispered.

"So, that means you lied." She nodded ashamed of herself. "Why? Because you don't love me back and are to embarrassed to tell me? To spare my feelings?"

She shook her head, angry once again. "No you idiot! Because I love you to!"

**-x-**

**There's (I think) one more chapter to this story. Or more… idk. At least, I'd love to see some reviews and what you think of it! I had trouble writing this one bcs I had absolutely NO time bcs of stupid homework! But I got today off school, which I REALLY needed and told myself to write. **

**My other story, Because She Was Different, should be updated tomorrow eve (my time) but I can't promise anything bcs chapter 7 isn't done yet. And I'd love to write most of chapter 8 before I upload it, otherwise it might take a few days before I get started again…**

**So, love to see some reviews, they really make my day, and make me write a lot faster!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4. heartache.**

**To the guest who said "the truth can't hurt you, this is CRAP". Well, I respected your opinion when you weren't rude, but now you are just rude. If you don't like it, then WHY STICK AROUND? Do everyone a favor and just get off the page of my story! And yes, the truth Can hurt!**

**And please, if you're going to review to tell me how crappy my story is: Do it NOT AS A GUEST. Now please click the red cross in the corner, and do all my readers a favor, and stop pissing me off!**

**-x-**

"_I thought you loved me!" and as soon as she said the words, she realized what she did._

"_And I thought you didn't remember." His look stern, but she could see the hurt in his eyes._

"_I do remember." She almost whispered._

"_So, that means you lied." She nodded ashamed of herself. "Why? Because you don't love me back and are too embarrassed to tell me? To spare my feelings?"_

_She shook her head, angry once again. "No you idiot! Because I love you to!"_

Rick was frozen in place. And so was Kate. she can't believe she just said that, but on the other hand, she was glad she did. But now she had no plan. She had no idea what to do… what to say. But he apparently did. "What? Kate…" he took as step closer, she didn't seem to notice, "You love me?" he asked because he wasn't sure he heard correctly.

"I thought I did." She managed to get out, but not without her voice cracking, "but after what you just did… I was coming here to tell you, even after you left me waiting in the hallway, but this…" a tear rolled down her cheek.

"Kate, this meant nothing to me! You heard me, I was thinking of you, not her…"

"And you think that makes it all okay?" she said as he took another step towards her, she backing away two. He did the same again, so did she, but her back hit the wall and he closed the gap between them, trapping her, she could still get away, but she wasn't sure what to do.

"Kate…" he brought a hand up to her cheek, he could feel her tense up beneath his hand. "I love you."

She softened a bit but looked down to her feet and then back up in his eyes. "I don't- I can't- can't handle this right now. If you really love me, you wouldn't have kissed that blond."

"But I do love you!" he was almost whispering, "let me prove it to you." He said as he moved closer to her but she reacted faster and pushed him away.

"I don't need you to prove it to me. I need you to mean it, I need to not have an imagine of a blond kissing you! So right now, I don't need your love." She said as she ran out the door, unable to sob a few times as she opened the door from her car, got in and turned the ignition.

_How could he do that to her? How could he think that she didn't love him. _That, and a million other things were running through her mind. But the one that stuck the most was; _How could I be so stupid?_ Next thing she knows, she's remembering the shooting, having trouble breathing and losing control of the car. Then there's a bang, a sharp pain, and black.

He ran out after her, he saw her running to her car, getting in and leaving. He wouldn't let her leave, not now! He'd made a mistake, more than one. and bringing Jacinda with him for company from the plain, she was a flight attendant, was the worst. He had know Jacinda was in to him, and he took advantage of that. He stopped running after her car, knowing it was pointless, turned around to get his car when he heard a bang. "Kate?" he yelled as he saw her car on the side of the road, against a tree. He immediately ran over, didn't think he could run this fast, and tried the passenger door while his eyes remained on her. "Kate?" he said once again as he pulled the door open and felt for her pulse.

Her head was on the steering wheel, one arm was above her head, and she was bleeding. Not bad, but still… he tried waking her up without success. "Come on Kate!" he said as her leaned over and unbuckled her. He carefully pulled her out of the seat and finally heard a groan. That's all he could ask for. "Kate? Thank God!" he said as she lifted her arms around his neck.

"What happened?" he heard her mumble, or that was what he thought he heard.

"You lost control of your car, Kate. But you seem to be okay, you weren't driving fast so you're going to be fine." He smiled.

Kate's eyes flew open, she shot up and took in her surroundings. She was in a house she didn't know… then she heard footsteps and looked at the direction they were coming from. "Kate! you're awake, good." He offered her a smile but she just got off the couch and backed away from him.

"Kate, take it easy."

"What am I doing here? Why did you bring me back here?" Kate questioned remembering what had happened.

"After you crashed your car –" he tried to explain but she cut him off.

"No, no! I didn't crash my car! I lost control because I couldn't breathe." He looked at her. "I lost control and I couldn't breathe." She repeated a little no, a lot, angry.

"Kate… I'm sorry."

"No you're not." Kate almost whispered, "I'll just go back to my life, and you just go back to yours." She said as she tried to walk to the door but was blocked by Rick. "Kate, I can't go back! How could I go back after what we've been through?" he hesitated before he smiled weakly and took her by the shoulders, "I still love you Kate."

"Rick, we're just repeating ourselves. We talked about this before I ran out of here."

"No Kate, we didn't talk. We argued and you didn't listen to me! I'm terribly sorry for what I did, but you can't deny that you didn't leave me hanging for 3 months! But I forgive you for that. Can you just forgive me?"

"I don't think I can Rick." She said as she got out of his grip and started walking, through the door, on to the street, took her bag out of the car and walked down the street while Rick was still frozen in place, realizing that what he did was unforgivable. Yes, she had hurt him, badly, but she never did something like this to him. Yes there was Josh, but that was while he was with Gina. She had hurt her, she hurt him. But now he really messed up.

He got a grip of himself and took him keys and phone. He tried to call her but she didn't answer. It had only been 10 minutes, how far could she be, right? Her car was still there, but she wouldn't be able to drive it. She wasn't far right? He would just pick her back up, drive her home if that's what she wanted, and leave her to come to her senses, but first, getting to her.

He stepped into his car and drove off. To find her.

**-x-x-x-**

**So I'm really not sure about this chapter. (let me know what you think!) I know it's not that long. But I wrote on Sunday, and then I wasn't able to write until tonight. I have a week vacation this week, so I'll try to write more, but my teachers gave me a TON of homework.**

**For Because she was Different: I'll try to upload tomorrow. otherwise, ASAP.**

**Reviews can make me smile like a fangirl from Belgium on a Tuesday morning, watching a new episode of Castle at 6 am.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5. Old friend.**

**This story has taken on a different direction than I first thought, and I keep getting new readers, so I'm really happy I didn't put it up as a one-shot and continued this. I hope people will still read this story now that the storyline had changed. To understand what I'm talking about: just read the next chapter. Enjoy.**

**If there are readers of mine that were involved in Hurricane Sandy, I hope you're all safe.**

**-x-x-x-**

He had looked for hours and hours, but didn't find her. She was gone. He was worried, but she didn't pick up her phone. She didn't call back. Maybe she had just checked in a hotel. Or hailed a cab back home… he didn't know, but he was worried. The problem was that he couldn't call to Lanie or Espo or Ryan because it was 2 am and he didn't want to wake up anyone so he went to sleep, thinking about Kate and how he screwed up.

Kate knocked on the wooden door breathing in the salty West Coast air. She knew it was late, or early, and that she hadn't seen him in, well, a really long time but she needed a friend right now. Someone who wouldn't be able to judge her and Rick. So she was so glad that when she knocked for the third time, a light turned on in the room next to the door. Just a second later she was greeted by the face she remembered from all those years ago. "Kate? Is that really you?" he smiled as Kate nodded and felt his arms wrap around her. "Hi Tyler. I'm sorry for showing up here unannounced but I just needed to get away from New York." She rambled on but Tyler cut her off.

"Kate, I'm just so glad I see you again! Come in!" he smiled as he took her bags inside with one arm still wrapped around her shoulders.

Kate and Tyler sat on the couch, both with a glass of wine in their hands as they talked about the years that had passed since they last saw each other, right before her mother was murdered, December 1998. Kate went home to spend the holidays with her parents and Tyler had stayed in California, his parents only lived a few miles away. Kate had called Ty almost every day. Everything was going great. But after the 9th, that doomed day, she hadn't called him for days and it stayed that way. She only called him once in that first year, to tell him that she wasn't coming back. But that call only lasted a few seconds. She couldn't cope with anything that made her happy. And Ty made her happy.

After a year and a half she called him again, to wish him a happy birthday. Then again when the holidays came. Since then they called once a month for a few years. But he had a busy job, she did to so they missed calls and started to lose contact again. That was until the shooting, when everything with Castle had gone downhill.

"So, not that I'm not glad to see you again, but… why did you come here?" Tyler carefully asked.

"You remember that I told you about Richard Castle?"

"The guy whose books helped you cope and who's following you around, that guy right?" Kate nodded. Tyler had a pretty good idea of who Castle was. Kate had told him, how she first instantly disliked the guy, then all the teasing that went on… Ty also knew about the time Kate realized she more than liked Castle and wanted to tell him, but then Gina showed up. Tyler knew all the big moments Kate and Castle had been through together. So he knew there were only a few people who could hurt her this bad, emotionally speaking. "So, you talked to him?" Ty more stated than asked.

"Yeah… I talked to him. And he just left me waiting outside his front door." She sighed. "he wouldn't let me in, or talk to me. He was furious that I stayed away for 3 months."

"I understand." Ty carefully said as she continued.

"The day after, I woke up in his hallway and talked to his mother, Martha." Kate explained the whole story to him as he listen carefully, sometimes a shocked expression. In the meantime Tyler had taken Kate in his arms, he's always been this way to her, cuddly when she needed it.

"So you told him you loved him." Ty stated as Kate nodded against his shoulder. "And he told you he loved you." Again a nod. "And he still made out with that blond? What a jackass!" she had to laugh at that. Ty did to.

"I was prepared for him to be mad, to yell, to do anything but that. That was the one thing I couldn't deal with." She sighed "so I packed my bag out of my car and started walking, found a cab, went to the airport and got the first flight to LA."

"Well, I'm glad you're here." He said as he squished her tighter.

"Me too. I just need to get some time off, from him, thinking about him, New York, everything. The only one that knows I'm here is my dad. I called him when I was at the airport waiting for my flight."

"Wait… you told me Castle came looking for you, he didn't find you, so shouldn't you let him know you're here, safe."

She sighed, knowing she should probably do that, but she really didn't want to talk to him. "You do it. Tell him I'm here, safe, with you and that I won't be back for a while. Tell him that I need a break, and tell him to pass it on to Javi, Kevin and Lanie." Tyler nodded, he knew she didn't want to and that she was tired.

"Sure, I'll do that. You go to sleep. I'll show you to my spare room." He said as she got up and joined her. "Night Kate." he said as he pulled her into a hug and pressed a kiss to her hair.

"Night Ty. I missed you."

"Me too."

Castle woke up from his phone ringing. He groaned and reached for it only to jump out of his bed once he saw who was calling him. "Kate? Are you okay? Where are you?" he practically yelled into the receiver.

"Hello to you too Mr. Castle." He heard a man say. "Kate is asleep and asked me to call." The man said before Castle could start asking questions again.

"Who are you?" Castle threatened.

"I'm Tyler, an old friend of Kate. She's staying with me for a while, she didn't say how long and I offered to call to let you, Javi, Kevin and Lanie know that she's okay."

"Wha-" Rick couldn't follow, mostly because he was still half asleep and because he didn't know if Kate was really okay or if something had happened to her and this man, Tyler was just making something up. "How do you know me?"

"As I said, Kate told me to call you. She has told me a lot about you."

"Can I talk to her? I want to talk to her." Castle really needed to know if she was okay.

"I'm sorry, but she's sleeping and she didn't want to talk to you." Castle knew Kate was hurt, but this is ridiculous.

"Kate is safe, she's with me. She asked me to not tell you were that is, I'm sorry and she said she needs a break. Could you pass the message on to Javier, Kevin and Lanie?" Tyler stated more than asked.

"Yeah I'll do that, but tell Kate I'm sorry, that I was stupid and that I want, no need to talk to her."

"I will Mr. Castle but I don't think she'll want to talk, or not any time soon."

"What do you know?" Castle spotted angry at the man for judging and for him not being Kate.

"I know what she left for 3 months, tried to talk to you and that you just pushed her away. Again. And I also know you know you made a mistake, but if I may speak freely Mr. Castle, Kate's hurting. I've only seen her this heartbroken one time before. So I'm asking you to leave her alone to heal. And if you aren't going to hurt her anymore, and she's ready for it, she might come back. But I have no idea if or when that will happen. Seeing her now, I'd say not anytime soon."

Castle was just frozen with all the information he got here. Kate's hurting, heartbroken and he did that to her. He knew he did but another person than himself telling him that makes it ten times harder and more realistic. Castle couldn't help but let his eyes tear up. As he closed his eyes a tear escaped. He had really screwed up.

"Can you just tell her I love her." He almost whispered and heard Tyler mumble an okay before he heard the click and they got disconnected.

He looked at the clock and decided to put his feelings on paper. Maybe he could start a new book, he had enough feelings for writing 100 versions of this, but he knew what he wanted to do. Send Kate a message with his book. Maybe she would listen to him like that.

Kate woke up a few hours later. She took in her surroundings realizing what had happened last night. She smiled to herself, glad she decided to come here, and not to go back to New York.

"Hey Ty." She smiled as she walked into the kitchen. He turned and hugged her tightly. "You sleep okay?" he asked as she nodded. They pulled back apart and she went to sit on the opposite side of the table watching him making eggs and bacon.

"So, what did he say when you called him?" Kate asked once they were eating.

"He was immediately asking questions about where you were, stuff like that. Didn't sound to happy when I answered and not you." Tyler joked but went on, "other than that he told me to tell you that he's sorry, and that he's stupid and that he wants to, no _needs_ to talk to you." He stated as he looked up at Kate from his eggs and bacon. "I told him that you were going to stay here for a while, but like you asked I didn't tell him where here is."

"Other than that something else he told you?" Kate asked.

Tyler thought about what Castle said at the end of their conversation and decided to keep that away. "No. Nothing." Kate frowned in confusion.

"So he didn't try to tell you he loves me?" Kate thought Castle would have done that.

"No. I'm sorry Kate." Tyler lied and say the look of disappointment on Kate's face.

**-x-x-x-**

**Woke up this morning (Tuesday) at 5:30, watched Castle and bcs I have no school, and I couldn't fall back asleep decided to write. **

**If you don't like the new storyline or you have ideas of what to happen next, tell me in a review ;) they really cheer me up!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6. Who is Ty to her?**

**I'm sick so I don't have much inspiration. I hope it worked out for you guys though, and I know you people hate Tyler! But he's a good friend, except that one lie.**

**-x-x-x-**

The first thing Rick did when he hang up was pacing around until he knew what to do. Lanie. She would know this Tyler, right? He changed in the matter of seconds and was out the door before he could even think of something else. He drove straight trough and got to New York as fast as he could.

He called Lanie and asked her to meet him at the 12th he also asked Ryan and Esposito to come into the break room. "Do you guys know a friend of Kate named Tyler?"

They looked at each other and Lanie was the first one to speak, "Yeah, I know him. He lives in LA. Kate went to collage with him until her mom's murder. Why?"

"Because that's where Kate is." He said as what Lanie had just said hit him, "Wait? LA? Kate's in LA?"

"We don't know!" Espo said as he looked over to Lanie who shook her head. "You know more than I do, so tell us."

"Kate came to talk to me, we got into a fight." He sighed, not wanting to tell the rest of the story so he gave them the cliff note version. "I went to the Hamptons, did something stupid and she saw me, I didn't know she was there. She ran off and I tried to find her, but I couldn't, next thing I knew I got a call, I thought from Kate but it was that Tyler instead. He told me Kate was with him and that she wasn't coming back. She's okay, but what do you know about this guy?"

Esposito, Ryan and Lanie all sat down as Rick just paced around, mad at himself.

"What did you do?" Ryan asked.

"That doesn't matter – " Rick started but was interrupted by Esposito. "It does matter. If we know what you did, we might be able to say how long she's going to stay away."

"Okay fine! I was mad at Kate for not calling me for 3 months and then she shows up at my doorstep. I told her to go away, she didn't. I booked a flight to the Hamptons as fast as I could, I just needed to get away. I met a flight attendant on the flight there and she kissed me." Already seeing the shock on his friends faces, he didn't want to tell the rest.

"What happened then? How- Oh my god! Kate saw you two didn't she?" Lanie stated more than asked as Rick nodded, not wanting to tell that he moaned out Kate's name instead of Jacinda while Kate was standing at the front door without him knowing.

"Castle, you know well enough that Kate more than likes you!" Esposito said with a stern voice, not wanting to hurt the writer, or on the other hand, wanting but holding back because Kate would kill him if he did that.

"No, I didn't!" he yelled, "she never told me! Instead, she hooked up with motorcycle boy! I told her! But she ignored me!" he froze. Did he really just admit to them he told Kate he loved her?

"What?" Espo, Ryan and Lanie spoke at the same time. "When?"

"When she was bleeding to death in my arms." He felt the tears come back but fought them.

"How could you blame her! She doesn't remember!"

"Oh but she does!" Rick sternly said which shocked the trio. "she admitted it to me."

"And you still kissed that bimbo?"

"It was after I kissed her that she admitted. I'm not to blame! I'm not the one who lied for 3 months!"

"Still, you should have known better." Ryan finally spoke after a minute of silence.

"I know I messed up, big time! But we need to get her home, now, what do you know about this Tyler?"

"I know he lives in LA, works for a private security company and that he was Kate's best friend in Collage." Lanie said.

"I also met the guy once, when he came to visit Kate a few years ago for Christmas, she was at her dad's cabin so Tyler never got the chance to see her and flew back to LA. He's a good looking guy, nice personality, nothing to worry about." Ryan spoke followed by Espo.

"I think there's only one thing we should worry about… the time I saw him, he asked me if Kate was with someone. He didn't say more, just asked, but I could say she felt the same about Kate as you do."

Rick froze. "You mean he might love Kate? Once Kate knows, she'll never come back!"

Kate was laying on the couch, head resting on Tyler's lap. He was running his fingers through her hair while she was just staring out in front of her while a few tears made its way down her cheek, nose and onto the sweats he was wearing.

"Kate, you can stay here as long as you want. You don't ever have to go back if you don't want to." Tyler sighs as he saw another tear escape her beautiful, hazel eyes.

"No Ty, I can't stay here, I don't want to be a burden –"

"Kate, you're never nor have you ever been a burden. You are just a beautiful, strong, extraordinary, young woman." She blushed. "Just Ty? I'm _just_ all of that?" she chuckled, feeling a little better as she stopped silently crying and sat up.

"Did I mention beautiful?" Ty joked as she laughed with him.

"Why no, I don't think you did." She laughed.

"Well than I'll tell you again Kate." he smiled as he put a stray of hair behind her ear as his hand rested on her neck. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever met."

Kate and Ty stared into each other's eyes for a second. Well, longer than a second.

Kate felt herself going back to that moment with Castle in the hotel in LA, when she felt a weird feeling, like a spark. She didn't know how else to disrobe it. Now she felt the same with Ty.

"Ty…" she said as she turned away from him.

"Kate, it's okay. I'm not him. I won't hurt you like he did." He said as he stroked his fingers under her chin so she looked back to him.

"I know. But I can't." she sighed.

"Why not Kate? A new city, a new start. With me." He suggested.

"That sounds great, other than the fact that I will always love him. No matter how much he hurt me." She stated, sure of herself. And if she screwed up with Tyler, she would no longer have anyone to talk to when she needed someone. Well, there was always Lanie but she knew Castle, she would know both of the stories, she could be honest. Sometimes Kate didn't want honest, sometimes she wanted reassuring words from her best friend from collage who couldn't judge her. Who didn't even know Castle other than from what she told him.

"Kate, I can wait. I'll wait as long as you need me to Kate." again, she felt this 'déjà vu'. Oh how much Castle and Tyler are alike in some ways. They both don't want Kate to get hurt, they both love her, they would both do anything for her, even wait for 3 years. Well, she guessed Tyler waited longer. And there were these other little things, things they said, did or showed that were the same. Maybe she thought she loved Castle because he was so alike with Tyler… But how could she really know?

"I don't want you to wait Ty." She said as she moved her lips closer to his, brushing them softly against each other.

Their lips met in a long, slow kiss and deepened. Before Kate knew it, his hand were pulling her closer but something felt wrong. It didn't feel like her kiss with Castle that they had shared when he had the idea to play a drunk couple for a guy to get him away from the door while Ryan and Esposito were inside being tortured.

"Ty…" she mumbled as she pulled back, "I'm sorry Ty." She sighed as she rested her forehead against his and tears appeared in her eyes. "I'm so sorry but I just don't feel it. Not right now."

"You used to though, didn't you?" he sighed as he moved away to rest his elbows on his knees as he turned his head to watch her. "You used to love me back in the day."

She nodded as she leaned back into the couch, running a hand through her hair.

"I remember that night perfectly, Kate." he smiled as the memory came back to their minds. "We were on the beach." He started.

"Walking along the water after a beach party because we won the first place in the Beach ball tournament." She stated, remembering every second of it. "We were so young, and happy."

"Yeah we were. But you had to leave for New York. Back to where it actually snowed in the winter." He sighed as she nodded. "I remember how we felt sitting by the water. Every time I look at you, it's like the first time." She laughed. "Quoting Taylor Swift now are we Ty?"

"Well it's true! The moments I've spend with you, were the best in my life. And I'd do anything to get back to that night. That night, when we shared our first kiss." He said, remembering how it felt when his lips touched hers. They had shared a kiss, a long one. But nothing further ever happened. After the kiss she had checked her phone, saw the time and had to say goodbye. Not knowing that in 2 weeks, her mom would be dead.

"Yeah." She smiled, "I'm sorry everything went to hell afterwards."

"Kate, you don't have to be sorry. It's not your fault."

"I know." She sighed. "Ty, I just need time." She lied, to him but also to herself, deep down she knew she could never love anyone like she loves Castle. Wishing she could, made her believe she did, she made herself believe she loves Tyler as much as she loves Castle, the only thing she needed was time to make the lie complete.

"Then I'll give you time." Ty smiled as they said goodnight as Kate went to bed.

**-x-x-x-**

**So… what do you think? Still hate Tyler? Hate him more?**

**This story isn't even hard to write, my fingers do it for me, but I'm not so sure about the chapter though, since I'm still sick. Getting better though, but it's going to take a while to get back to 100% healthy. **

**Maybe a review will make me better? ;) (no seriously, that's the only thing making me smile right now, that and watching The Ellen Show video's, And chatting to my new friend: Nina.)**


	7. Chapter 7

**The first part is hopefully going to clear up some things.**

**Btw, glad I got so much reviews. Especially since I only got 1 for my other story… **

**Sorry for the 3 week wait, I had and still have no inspiration.**

**I really wanted to update this earlier but homework and coming up exams are really hard to combine with writing. Hope you enjoy this chapter though…**

**Chapter 7. Fighting for Love.**

Kate woke up, she had this terrible feeling in her gut that told her what she was doing was wrong. She knew it was, but she so wanted it to be right. She had kissed Tyler, for the same reason Castle had kissed that blonde bimbo, what was her name again? Jacinda? But the difference was, she loved Tyler, once at least. But Castle couldn't have loved that blonde. He had even moaned _her_ name while kissing that blonde.

She got up, wanting to clear her head. She pulled on a large sweater and sweats and decided she would go fun a run on the beach. It wasn't dark outside, and she liked it. It meant not many people would be on the beach. She put in her ear buds, put the music on, made sure she had some money for a coffee and she got out of the house.

Rick knew what he had to do, but he was still hesitant to do it. He needed to get Kate back, before it was too late. He booked the first flight to LA and let Esposito and Ryan figure out where this Tyler lived. As soon as Ryan got the address, Rick left for his flight. He spend the entire flight making up different ways of how it could go. From 'I'm in love with Tyler' to 'Leave me alone' to Kate running into his arms and kissing him. But he didn't know how this was going to go. And it scared him.

Once he was of the plane it didn't go any better. Now only bad outcomes came into his mind.

He looked for a cab as soon as he was outside and got to Tyler's address. He just hoped he wasn't too late.

Tyler woke up from knocks. Very loud ones he might add. He was happy he slept in his t-shirt and boxers and just got out of the bed, got downstairs and opened the door with a loud "What?"

Without hesitating he asked: "Are you Tyler?"

"Yeah, who are you?"

"I'm Rick. We spoke on the phone. I need to talk to Kate."

"Well looks like she's not here." Tyler asked, suddenly even more annoyed that _that guy_ showed up.

"I don't believe you." Castle stubbornly said as he pushed past Tyler and walked into his home.

"Hey! Get your ass out of my house! She's not here! And if she was, she wouldn't want to talk to you after the way you hurt her. You hurt her so bad she cries every night." Tyler exclaimed as he pulled Castle on his shoulder. "Now leave!"

"I'm not leaving 'till I talked to her. I love her, and she needs to know that." Castle got out of Tyler's grip.

"Oh she knows. When I gave her your messages she said she didn't care." Tyler lied. He was competing against this guy. As long as Kate still loves Castle, he won't have a chance. So he lied.

"She said she doesn't love you. She said she loves me." Tyler grinned at the fury he saw appearing on Rick's face.

"I don't believe you! I want to hear it from her." He repeated.

Both guys went on fighting, not realizing they weren't alone anymore. Kate was back from her jog and had heard most of the fight between the 2 guys.

The thing that really made her stop in her tracks was what Tyler said. _"When I gave her your message she said she didn't care."_

What message? Kate wondered as she decided to listen to it and not barge in yet. "I never said I didn't care." She whispered to herself as she replayed every moment that she had spend talking to Tyler. She didn't recall him giving her a message.

But what freaked her even more out was what she heard next. _"She said she doesn't love you, she said she loves me."_ She never said it like that! As much as it hurt her, she still loved Castle.

She took a deep breath and walked into the house. What she saw wasn't what she thought she would see. She saw Tyler punching Castle in the face and Rick fell down backwards. "What the hell Ty!" Kate exclaimed, making both guys turn their attention to her. "Kate…" Rick sighed from relief and before he knew it she was next to him on the ground and checking his already bruised cheek.

"I'm so glad to see you're okay." Rick smiled at her and she made eye contact with him for the first time she had walked out of the Hampton house.

They had this moment, just like before in LA. "You okay?" she asked as he gave her a now. After, she stood up and turned her attention to Tyler who stood there in fury and jealousy written all over his features.

"Why the hell did you punch him!" she asked him but before he could respond she spoke. "And why are you telling lies?! I've never got any message from him and I certainly never said I didn't love him! And I don't love you like that Tyler. You know that!" Kate pointed to Rick while saying so and took a step closer to Tyler.

"He hurt you Kate, you deserve better than that! You could be happy. Here with me."

"I'd never be happy here Tyler. Not without him." Kate admitted, well aware of the fact that Rick could hear everything she said. But she didn't mind.

"Fine. Then get out!" Tyler said. "Get your stuff and get out!"

Kate was shocked, this wasn't what she was expecting. But she knew Tyler was angry and jealous. And to be honest, she couldn't deal with that right now.

"Fine, I'll get out." She said as she turned to Castle who was now standing on his feet. "Castle can you wait outside… I'll be there in a minute." She spoke but as she saw the doubt on his face she added: "I promise."

He gave her a nod and he disappeared out the door as Kate went upstairs without looking back at Tyler and packed all her stuff. Her 2 suitcases where packed as she wrote a quick note and left it on her pillow. She walked downstairs only to find Tyler on the couch watching TV.

"Tyler?" she questioned but got no response. "Ty, I know you're mad, and I'm mad but can't you just say goodbye?" When she got no response, she felt like she had just ruined part of her life. Once her best friend, who she once loved and never had a fight with, was now so angry at her. And he actually didn't have the right to be angry. But she didn't care about that. She just wanted him back as a friend.

"Okay then…' she almost whispered and swallowed back the lump in her throat. "Goodbye Ty." She sighed as she walked about the door and a small tear managed to escape.

Rick took her bags as soon as she was out the door but he noticed the tear on her cheek. "Hey… you okay?" she silently shook her head. "I just needed him as a friend, and now I don't have that anymore. But I'm glad you're here though." She sighed as she whipped away the tear, not wanting to get to overwhelmed by all of this.

He knew she didn't want to discuss it so he let it drop, for now. "Where do you want to go Kate?"

She thought for a second and sighed. "Can we just not go back to New York yet… Can we just stay in a hotel somewhere?" she questioned as he nodded.

"Of course we can Kate." he gave her a small smile and pulled her in for a hug which she was happy to return.

They took a cab to a hotel which turned out to be a 4 star hotel. When they pulled up there Kate sighed. "Rick I can't afford this place."

"I can Kate. Just let me take care of everything. But I do need to know, do you want me to get a room separated from you or not?"

"Let you pay double? No. You're already paying for me, we'll be able to share a room. Right?" she questioned and he was glad to see a smile appear on her face.

"Of course." Rick smiled back as he booked a room.

Turned out there was only a few rooms left, all of them were in the top class so pretty expensive but Rick really didn't care.

Their room number was 747. So they took the elevator all the way up to floor 7, which was the top floor and walked down the halls. When Rick opened the door to their suite, Kate looked around in shock. "Rick? A room was good enough. You didn't have to book _this_ for us. This place is huge! It's bigger than my apartment!"

"Well," Rick smiled, "It was this or nothing. And I think it's nicer than a room with only a bathroom. This place has a living room, as you see. With 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. And it has a view that is magnificent." He smiled as he walked towards the living room and opened the curtains to reveal the terrace with a beautiful view over the ocean.

"Wow." He heard Kate say as she walked to stand beside him. She looked over the room once again and turned to Rick. "Thank you."

"Always."

Back in the beach house Tyler sighed as he filled his glass once again. He went upstairs with the glass still in his hand and walked to the guestroom where Kate had stayed only a few hours ago. He looked around to find all of her stuff gone, like he asked but there was a note on one of the pillows.

"_Ty_

_I know you're mad, and even though you shouldn't have the right to be mad, I understand. But you need to understand that I just want and need you as a friend._

_I hope we can still have that._

_And I know you want more than that, but I love Castle. I always will…_

_And I'm sorry if you think he's wrong for me, but I just can't walk away from him this easily._

_I hope that you'll understand one day, and when you do, please call me._

_I'll just be a phone call away._

_And if I never hear from you again, I'll know our friendship is over… I just hope it'll never come to that point because if it does, I've lost one of my best friends and I'll have to live with that forever because it was basically my fault._

_So please call._

_Kate x."_

**-x-x-x-**

**God I'm so glad that I've updated this story! I made a promise to my friend and awesome writer NinaK that I'd upload a new chapter so that she can read it once she gets home.**

**And please tell me what you think of this chapter bcs my inspiration has been gone and I hope I'll get another chapter up before my exams start on Friday.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8. Past, Present, Future**

**So, I'm in the middle of my exam period, when I start writing this. So I don't get to write a lot. But I'm also stuck most of the time. **

**But when I do write, I write a lot.**

**Special thanks to my friend NinaK.05 and my new friend Bruno. Just, for being amazing.**

**-x-x-x-**

Kate stared out of the window in the hotel living room as Rick ordered room service. She was thinking of what had happened this past week… how her life had changed so much in such a short period of time. She had been in so many states and she had felt so many emotions, love, hurt, broken… and now she was happy. Well, kind of happy. She was glad. Glad that she had Castle back, cause she realized walking away from him a second time wasn't going to do him, her, them any good. If he hadn't come to the house, she would have left anyway.

While she was jogging, she had thought about a lot of things, and made up her mind. She was just glad it didn't come to her having to explain. But was it now better? Now she might have lost a really good friend…

Kate snapped out of her thoughts as she felt a hand on her shoulder. "Hey, I ordered Chinese." He frowned, "Kate?" he asked as he saw no reaction.

"Oh yeah, that's great. Thanks." She gave him a small smile and dropped her gaze.

"Hey, what's bothering you?" he asked, his voice letting her know how concerned he was.

"It's just everything that happened. Not just with Ty, but also with you. How you hurt me, but mostly, how I've hurt you." He wanted to stop her but she silenced him with her hand. "No, I've hurt you. And looking back now, I could've taken a better way to come back. I could've called you first, I could have left you alone when you asked me to, then you might not have taken that flight to the Hamptons and then we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Kate, I know. I'm not saying it isn't your fault, but neither am I saying that it is. We both regret things we've done. Let's just focus on now, and forget all the rest. Let's just live in the moment." Castle smiled as he watched her turn towards him and crack a small smile.

"If we're going to live in the moment, what's the first thing you want to do?" Kate asked.

"For one, I would love just to stay here for a couple more days and then we'll see what we'll do, but I think being out of familiar places will do us both some good." She smiled at that.

"I would love that Rick." And she started to turn but he grabbed her arm lightly. "I wasn't quite done yet Kate."

Kate turned back around and when she met his ocean blue eyes, she basically knew what he was going to say.

"And two, I want to kiss you." She stood there, shocked and she didn't find the right words to say. But what was there to say? She wanted it too, but was it too soon? Would this be too fast? But she didn't have to respond because he answered for her.

"But I won't, because I don't think that's living in the moment. If I kiss you, I want this thing that we have- some sort of relationship to last forever. I want you to be my girlfriend, my wife, and the mother of some future child, or more than one. So I don't want to kiss you now if that means that after this trip, we're going to forget all about it." He smiled, and in his surprise, she did too.

"I don't want this to be anything in the heat of the moment either. And I think with all that happened, it would be too soon. So let's just, live and we'll see." Kate smiled. She knew this was out of character for her. She normally wouldn't just live, not thinking about the future. Normally she would like a plan, a routine, a place where she knew the people, and where she knew who to trust. Somewhere safe. But she now had the person she trusted the most next to her, and she loved him. So why not.

Their thoughts were disturbed when there was a knock on the door. "Room service." They heard a young man say and Castle went to open the door. He tipped the young man and brought the Chinese to the coffee table. "Shall we eat here?" Castle asked which was answered by a nod from Kate.

They ate their Chinese with some small talk until Castle proposed something he had been thinking about a lot today.

"What do you think about traveling around for a while?" Castle asked. He was a little nervous, but was able to hide it.

"What do you mean travel around? Like, through the city, from hotel to hotel or…?"

"No." he took a deep breath and smiled. "I meant going out of the country. You know, visit some beautiful places, like France, London or Brussels. We could also go to Italy, or Spain, or outside of Europe…"

Kate wasn't expecting this, but now that she thought of it, why not? She really wanted a vacation ever since the entire drama went on. To get away from everything, the shooting, the recovery… Now she would just be able to enjoy the world, or Europe, with the man she loved.

She smiled, "Why not. Let's do it." He laughed as though he didn't believe she said that.

"Really?"

"Yeah, why not. It might be fun." She laughed at his stunned expression and stood up to clean the food boxes off the table.

Rick sat there for a moment and then smiled to himself. "This is going to be so much fun!" And he practically jumped off the couch and cleaned up the rest of the boxes.

In the afternoon they decided to get out of the hotel, since it was a beautiful sunshiny day. They both changed. She put on a bikini underneath jeans shorts and a loose hanging top. And he put on navy blue swimming trunks and a white t-shirt that clung to his body.

When he stepped outside of his room he was busy with stuffing a towel into a bag, and he didn't notice her coming out of her room. When he looked up he lost his words and swallowed hard. She looked stunning in those clothes. Her long legs were perfect with those Jeans blue Converse All Stars and jeans shorts that were, in his opinion, bringing out her butt perfectly. The loose hanging shirt clung to her body as she tied it into a knot at her side, which caused the skin to be exposed from her bellybutton to her hips.

She caught him staring at her, and suddenly felt different. Not embarrassed but, more flirtatious. "If you don't' close that mouth, you're going to catch flies."

Her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "Sorry, it's just… wow, you look…"

"Thanks, I guess. And you're not so bad yourself Castle." She cracked a smile as she let her eyes roam over his body for a second. The way his shirt clung to his body… You could see every muscle in his body. And it wasn't like he was the most muscular guy she knew, but he did have abs. And his shirt showed them perfectly.

She handed his her towel and he stuffed it into the bag as they walked out of the hotel.

When they were walking out of the hotel, she noticed she forgot something. "I forgot my sunglasses…" she said as the sun met her eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll buy you a pair. I need some new ones myself." He smiled as he took her hand and they started walking again, towards the beach, but first finding a little store for some sunglasses.

In the hotel suite a phone rang through the silence. The phone showed 'Tyler Calling.' but there was no one to pick up.

Tyler threw the phone on the couch as he thought about the note. It said "_when you do, please call me" _and it wasn't like he already understood the reason she went back to Castle, but he wanted to hear if she was okay. And she knew Kate, she would never ignore a call. Not from him.

He picked up the phone again and dialed the number again. When voicemail came up, he waited for the beep and spoke.

"Fine Kate, if you don't want to talk to me, forget it. I'm not going to call again and don't bother calling back. You've lost your friend, now happy?" The anger was all in his voice and features. He hung up and threw the phone away and screamed. He had never been this angry. Hell, he'd never been angry at _her_.

He was going to win her back, whether she wanted it, or not.

**Dum-dum-dummm.**

**Ha, Finally finished it, after 3 weeks of writing nothing! It's shorter than the others, I know! But with this chapter we've reached 12 000 words and I really wanted to give you guys an update before the new year started.**

**My exams went great for the people who were wondering.**

**A special thanks to NinaK.05, An amazing writer and an even better friend.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Sry for the lack of updates… My teachers seem to hate us, and my math teach is the worst. Whatever, writers block with that all doesn't help. And I've been making more time for my best friend lately bcs we needed it :) I love you Nien 3**

Rick was in the shower and Kate was in the living room. They just came back from going to the beach and they had a blast. The ocean was great and the beach and sun even better. They had swum, ate some ice cream, work on their tans, until Rick decided to borrow a little kid's bucket and make her all wet again. They had even played some beach volleyball with 2 other people who were playing and looking for some more players. They were going to meet up for diner in 2 hours at the restaurant next to the hotel.

Kate was going to take a shower as well when she heard her phone ring. That's when she realized she didn't have it with her today. Hopefully she looked at the caller ID. Disappointed but also glad seeing it was Lanie calling her, she answered.

"Hey Lanie." Kate said, a little more cheerful than her normal tone.

"Don't you Lanie me." Lanie's voice was stern and Kate knew the shower was going to have to wait a few minutes. "First of; are you okay? Where are you? Is Castle there? And last, what the hell were you thinking girl? I know you had a rough time and all, but couldn't you have let us know something… we were worried when writer boy showed up asking us to track you down."

Kate bit her lip, she knew she should've at least let Lanie know where she was. "Look Lanie, I'm sorry okay. But I'm fine. I'm in a hotel right now, away from Tyler, with Castle." She knew Lanie wanted to interrupt but she didn't let her, "No Lanie, not how you think. We're just here, in the hotel as friend. Maybe more someday, but we've talked about it and with all that happened, well let it unfold. We're both not forcing it and that's good."

Lanie nodded and hummed. "Okay, good, but when are you coming home Kate?"

Kate bit her lip again… she knew what Lanie was going to think when she told her their plans, but she actually didn't really care right now. She was happy, and she had fun today. That was what mattered. Yes, she had felt a little cautious about him seeing the scar, but she had a bikini that covered it pretty good. You could only see it if you knew it was there.

"Lanie…" she sighed, took a deep breath and explained, "We're going to travel around for a while." She heard Lanie say "What?" but she just went on explaining. "We don't know where, we'll figure it out as we go. I also don't know how long exactly but I would guess that we'll stay away for at least a month." Kate couldn't heard any response from Lanie other than some vowels that didn't form any specific word.

Kate waited for her friend to catch up, and take it all in.

"What?" she only mumbled softly at Kate. "Not that I'm not happy for you, cause I am but… what? I'm not going to see you for _that_ long?"

"I'll probably drop by when we leave here, cause I need some more clothes, and I promise I'll come see you before we leave again, but the point of this vacation is getting away from New York so I won't stay long." Kate said as she started walking around the room.

"What about the guys? And work?" Lanie stated.

"I don't know about Ryan and Espo, but I'll let them know and work, I'm still supposed to be home for a month, so I don't think the new boss will mind." Kate smirked and Lanie had to admit that it was true, the new boss would mind at all, she would probably let Kate do paperwork for a month anyway.

"Okay, Kate. I have to go, but we'll talk later, call or text when you're coming to New York, or when you're back here."

"Yeah Lanie. Promise."

They said their goodbyes as Lanie hung up and Kate looked at the phone for a second.

She saw that she had a missed call. She checked the caller and gasped when she saw it had been Tyler calling. Damn! She should have had her phone with her!

She also noticed the voicemail he left, dialed the number and put the phone near her ear.

"_Fine Kate, if you don't want to talk to me, forget it. I'm not going to call again and don't bother calling back. You've lost your friend, now happy?"_

Kate felt defeated. Because of not remembering to bring her phone with her, she had lost her friend… her best friend in a long while.

She sat down unconsciously, letting the words consume her mind and body. She knew if she would try to explain now, he would just get even more mad. And she didn't want that, at all.

She got lost in thoughts trying to figure out what to do…

"Hey," Kate heard as she startled when she felt his warm hand on her shoulder. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

"No worries." She shrugged and turned around to face him. "It's just… Never mind." She sighed as she took a step backwards, put the phone down and walked towards her room to go and take that shower she so longed for.

Rick decided to leave it for now. Kate needed some time to think, he did the same thing in the shower.

He grabbed his laptop, which oddly enough he packed, and started to write. Now that his source of inspiration was back, he knew what to write again. Without her, it was harder. It had been harder.

A muse always helps. But if she knew he called her that all the time in his head, he would have been dead a long time ago.

When he wrote a few chapters, all good enough for the book, he saved them once again and checked the time. It was already an hour later. Kate still wasn't back… this wasn't good.

He stood up after turning the computer off and walked towards her room. He could hear that the water was still running. He wasn't sure what to do for a moment. If he walked in there, he would see her naked, and invading on her privacy. He didn't want to do that. But he needed to know she was okay. And spending an hour in a shower was not normal. And they had to go and meet Jason and Amy, the couple they had played a match of volley with, in just 30 minutes.

He made his choice and knocked on the door. No response…

He tried again, this time, he let his knuckles hit the wood with more force. "Kate? Kate are you alright?" He waited a moment but still heard nothing.

He announced himself coming in and after another moment of silence, walked in.

There she was, sitting in the shower, underwear on, head on her legs, arms around them and eyes closed. He noticed that the steam in the room was way too heavy.

"Kate!" he said, trying to get her attention but she didn't seem to notice. Her skin looked a little redder than normal. He opened the glass door and reached out to her only to hiss and pull his hand back when it met the hot water.

"Damn Kate! Are you trying to get burned?" he stated more than asked. He took a breath and reached out to the water supply knob and turned it off. It was then when she seemed to notice he was there.

"What the hell Castle!" Kate yelled as she let go of her legs.

"Kate, the water was burning your skin! And staying in here so long… God Kate!" By the time he finished his sentence, she was standing up. She looked like she was going to get angry at him, but instead just shrugged. "I deserve it."

"The hell…? Why would anyone deserve that? Don't talk like that." Rick tried, not getting what was wrong. "Why are you thinking like that?"

"Because, and don't interrupt me before I'm done, I overreacted when I saw you in the Hamptons, and made you suffer, it should have been me." He sensed she wasn't done with her explanation yet so he just listened and studied her. Her face only. He didn't dare look down.

"Secondly, I screw up. I screwed up with you, and now with Tyler. I've lost my best friend and it's all my own fault. I made him believe things that weren't there and he's now suffering from it! It's not fair to him. To you! I deserve to get the pain, not you! Not Tyler! It's not fair."

By then Rick had had enough. He pulled her into his arms and shushed her.

"That's not true Kate. Yes, you've hurt me, and I'm sure Tyler is hurt too, but we're both grown men, we get over it. It might take time, but we will. And Life isn't fair. I know it's cliché but it's true. And well… frankly, life happens. Things go unplanned. And that's what we get when we go a wrong way, we get angry and hurt. But now it's time to take the right one and just forget about the past. Okay?"

When Kate didn't respond, he went on, "So don't think you, or anyone deserves to be punished for anything. Not you, not Tyler and not me… It's faith. So let's just focus on one thing at a time now, and let's go have dinner with Amy and Jason."

He loosened his grip on her and pulled back from her. "Okay?" he asked and she responded with a nod. "Can you just give me time to get ready?" Kate silently asked as he nodded.

"But no showers anymore. Hot or cold." He wasn't really joking, but made it sound funny.

"Okay." Kate responded as Rick walked out of the bathroom and closed the door.

He stood there for a moment and thought about everything. She must have gotten something from Tyler to make all of this happen… He would ask later. now was not the time.

He took a deep breath and got to his own room. He changed into a long jeans, a black T-shirt and took a grey vest with him.

Kate walked out a few minutes later with her hair up in a bun, beautifully as always, and a checked shirt that fit her perfectly. And of course, a jeans and a pair of sandals with 4 inch heels.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry 'bout before." She mumbled.

"Hey… no worries okay? It's good to let go sometimes. But just don't crop them up again. If you ever think you deserve a punishment again, talk to me, or write it down okay?"

She nodded and gave him a small smile. "Now let's go to dinner, I'm starving."

**Share your thoughts anytime ;)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10. My best friend.**

**A lot has been going on in my personal life… So, I either totally didn't feel like writing, or I just didn't have the time. I planned to write my entire vacation, but my teachers had other plans…**

**Btw, to my besty, I hope you get the message. I wrote that part when we were okay, but I just felt like writing this for you. 143**

They were almost done with their dinner together as friends. The four of them, Kate, Rick, Amy and Jason. Only dessert still had to come. They had talked about their lives, and stories to get to know each other more. Nothing too personal, because they still didn't know each other that well, but it was nice.

"So, since I know you're from New York, Rick, what are you going to do after this trip to California?" Amy asked.

"We are planning on going back to New York for a day or two, to pack a bag, and then travel around." Rick said as if it was nothing while the other couple shared a look.

"Travel huh? Travel where?" Jason asked.

"Uh… we aren't sure yet, just Paris, London, Rome stuff like that. Just to get away from our lives in New York."

"Oh, we did that too. It was amazing wasn't it darling?" Jason smiled at Amy.

"It certainly was. And if you're going to visit all those cities, I recommend, if you want a little smaller town, with a lot of history, go to Antwerp, in Belgium. They have lots of nice shops there and it's just an amazing city. Not too big, not too small."

"Thanks guys!" Castle smiled at Kate.

"Yeah, we'll do that." Kate smiled lightly and got back to her dessert. She had been off the entire night, but now it was worse than in the beginning. And of course, it didn't go unnoticed by Castle, but he decided to just leave her be, for now.

They said goodnight to Amy and Jason, but not before changing contacts. It could be fun, new friends, who knew nothing of their trouble, and just… a fresh start. Not entirely of course, they weren't planning on leaving New York for good, but it was nice getting away from it all.

When they were back in the hotel suite Kate said goodnight to Rick, ready to just crawl into bed, but he had other plans. He wanted to cheer her up.

"Come here Kate." he said as he reached out and turned her towards him. "Wait just a second, and don't even think about going into your room." He smiled as she gave him a confused look as he walked to the stereo. He put it on and was happy with the song that came on. 'Breakaway' by Kelly Clarkson. He started singing along with the radio and she couldn't help but smile.

"What are you trying to do Castle?"

"I" he started as he took her hands in his, "am _going_ to dance with you, not just trying. I want to see a smile. Not just a fake one. I want to get a smile that reaches your eyes."

She smiled a little bit and he smiled back. "Now that's a start."

He pulled her in his arms before she could refuse. He felt her body stiffen up, but after a moment or two swaying around, she loosened up and put her head on her hand that was resting on his shoulder.

He didn't ask a question, but she answered the one he had in his head.

"Tyler called me." She said silently. He turned his head towards her, but said nothing. "He called when we were at the beach. I forgot my phone here." She swallowed back a lump, failing, but she went on.

He basically yelled at me for not picking up my phone and told me to not bother calling back. And now I lost him…" Although she tried to stop it, she couldn't help that one tear that rolled down her cheek.

"I lost my best friend from collage… the one who I used to tell everything. We've known each other for so long now, and no matter how far we lived from one another, we always kept in touch, and now I've hurt him so bad… I lost him Rick. For good."

"Kate, listen to me, he might be mad now, yes, but you didn't lose him. I can't promise you, I know that, but once he accepts what all went happened, and calms down, he'll be your friend again."

"I don't know Rick… I think it's messed up too bad to fix." Kate sighed as she pulled out of his arms.

"Kate, you don't know that for sure."

"But you don't know it for sure that he might forgive me either! You don't!"

"No, Kate, I might not know for sure, but he is, or was, your best friend right?" he received a nod, "well, there is one thing I know. Best friends, real best friends, don't just split up. They don't just have a fight and then never talk again. Otherwise they weren't best friends in the first place."

He took a step closer to Kate again and pulled her in for a hug. "Listen to me, and listen closely. A best friend is someone who will be there for you through everything. From where ever in the world, to whatever it is. It doesn't matter. A best friend is someone you can always rely on, no matter what. And that doesn't mean they never fight, it means that even though they fight and are angry at one another, they still miss each other. They still wish they could be with each other. And yes, sometimes that friendship can end, badly or just growing apart, but you don't know if that is the case right now. So don't be too fast in thinking it's all over when you don't know for sure."

Kate nodded against his shoulder and said a muffled 'thanks, for everything' in which he replied '_always'_.

The word, their word, made her pull her face away from his shoulder. They locked eyes, and something in her eyes gave away what she was thinking of, because somehow, he knew. He leaned in closer to her, as did she. Their lips slowly connected. It was sweet, soft, slow, passionate, comforting and everything she needed, and he wanted to give her.

The kiss stayed this way. He knew she wasn't ready for more. Not now, later yes, and he was willing to wait. Because the way he felt, holding her, and kissing her this exact moment… it was worth it. Worth the wait.

When their lips finally untangled, their foreheads connected with one another.

"Thank you for understanding Rick."

"I understand it Kate, completely. Always." He placed his lips against her forehead as the song came to an end.

"Rick? Can you…?" she didn't finish her question because she seemed a little embarrassed to be asking.

"Whatever it is Kate, you can ask."

"Can you- Can we-…" she closed her eyes and took a breath. "Can you hold me as we sleep?"

He wasn't surprised, and just nodded. He didn't think it was weird at all. But he knew how she could maybe find it hard to ask. He wasn't really sure where they stood. He knew they wouldn't be seeing other people, it wasn't like he wanted to, but they weren't really in a relationship either.

He took her hand and lead her to his bedroom. They crawled into the bed, and as she longed, he held her and stroked her hair as they were both lulled to sleep.

**I know, way too short for the time you have waited for this. But I literally just wrote everything from the hotel on till they went to bed, now. In the last half hour.**

**My exams are coming up, so: sorry! But again, you won't get much updates. And this story might be put on hold for a few weeks. Or, I'll finish this one and write a second part later when I'm not that busy. But I have Because She Was Different, and Falling To Pieces also to write. And I totally wasn't planning on them to get this long. **

**I am planning on finishing one of my stories. Maybe write a sequel to it, yes, but for now, 3 stories are way too much with having stacks of homework and a best friend that I want, and need, to talk to everyday.**

**As I expressed in this chapter, I need her. I just do, and I can only chat or write, one at a time, so sorry.**

**Thanks for still being with me if you're reading this.**


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